Becoming A Parent

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Same Love was created with you in mind, by individuals much like you. On your first visit with us, you will meet an experienced coordinator who will guide you throughout your journey to becoming a parent—the same person will be with you, from finding the perfect egg donor and surrogate, all the way through fertilization, embryo transfer, and birth. From start to finish, the process of becoming a parent via surrogacy typically takes about 18-24 months, and sometimes longer, depending on the success of your journey.

Because we have gone through the experience ourselves, either as intended parents, egg donors, or surrogates, we can promise you will be included, informed and prepared, every step of the way. Amongst the staff here at SLS, our surrogate coordinators have birthed 22 surrogate babies, while our intended parent coordinators are raising their 9 surrogate babies.

Our resources include an extensive network of highly qualified physicians, clinics, attorneys, surrogates and egg donors. We’re also happy to work with any providers of your choice—we even offer reduced pricing for those who have already chosen a surrogate or donor.

Start The Process

MATCHING PROCESS

One of the most challenging facets of becoming a parent via surrogacy is finding a qualified, reliable surrogate whose needs and expectations are compatible with yours. We at Same Love offer an extensive network of surrogates, all of whom conform to a list of prerequisites designed to ensure the protection and well-being of intended parents and surrogate alike.

Before introducing you to potential surrogates, your personal Same Love coordinator will ask you a number of questions. What kind of relationship do you expect to have with your surrogate? How much involvement do you want in medical procedures and doctor’s visits? What are your expectations for a relationship with the surrogate during and after the birth?

Once your coordinator has a good understanding of what your preferences are for the surrogate relationship, we’ll provide you with a detailed profile of an available surrogate candidate that we feel would be a good fit for you. When you have selected your surrogate, your coordinator will share your intended parent profile with the surrogate. If she is interested in working with you, your coordinator will arrange a video meeting. When both parties are comfortable with the match, your coordinator will provide you with detailed information outlining next steps.

FINANCIAL CONSIDERATIONS

Same Love is committed to making your journey to having a child via surrogacy as worry-free and enjoyable as possible. Transparency is key to that commitment. While the total cost of surrogacy varies from case to case, your personal coordinator will make sure you understand any potential costs that may arise and help you plan for your family’s future. Following is a list of typical expenses related to surrogacy and/or egg donation. Please note that we offer reduced rates for intended parents who have selected a surrogate or donor outside of the Same Love network.

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STEP BY STEP

For many people, the process of creating a family via surrogacy is both exciting and overwhelming.

Here is a brief step-by-step synopsis of what you can expect, every step of the way.

CONSULTATION

The Same Love difference begins with your very first meeting: We will meet with you in whatever setting is most convenient and comfortable for you—a video call, coffee house, restaurant or our Los Angeles office location if you desire a more formal setting. The focus of this first meeting is to inform you about the process, projected costs, resources available to you, and to make sure Same Love is the right fit for you. No surprises, no unnecessary complications. We’ve been in your shoes, and we understand the importance of convenience, transparency and accurate information. We’ll also use this visit to learn about you, your life, your dreams for your family, and your expectations of donor, surrogate and us.

GETTING STARTED

Once you feel fully informed and ready to embark on your journey to parenthood with Same Love, we will ask you to sign and submit our retainer agreement along with a small, deposit toward our agency fee. This formality will provide us with the standing to begin seeking professional services, donors and surrogates on your behalf.

IDENTIFYING DONOR & SURROGATE

Unless you have already selected an egg donor or surrogate, our next step will be to identify donors and surrogates who are compatible with your personality, expectations and needs. In one or more meetings, we will introduce you to a surrogate candidate we believe to be a good match for your unique situation. In many cases, you may also meet with our egg donors; who are available to meet you and our coordinator for a video meeting. These match meetings give the intended parents the opportunity to get to know the egg donor.

SCREENING

Next, one of Same Love’s recommended clinics, or a clinic or physician of your choice, will conduct medical screenings of your donor and surrogate to ensure they are physically capable of serving in their roles. The surrogate also will undergo a background check, medical records review, virtual home visit, drug screening and psychological screening. In addition, you will also undergo medical and psychological screening to make sure the match between intended parent(s), donor and surrogate is perfect. Once your donor and/or surrogate is medically cleared by your IVF physician, your first portion of our agency fee is due.

LEGAL

Properly executed agreements between intended parents and egg donor and between intended parents and surrogate are essential to ensure the rights and obligations of each party are clear and legally documented. Same Love will connect you with a highly qualified attorney experienced in fertility law, or you may work with an attorney of your choice. Also you will establish an escrow account for funding of all expenses and compensation related to your egg donor and surrogate. Once your donor and/or surrogate is legally cleared by your attorney, the remaining portion of our agency fee is due.

MEDICAL CYCLE

Once proper legal agreements are in place, an egg donor cycle begins with the screened donor taking fertility medications to stimulate her ovaries, the eggs are retrieved and then fertilized with sperm in the IVF clinic lab to create embryo. PGT-A which stands for Preimplantation Genetic Testing for Aneuploidy is performed to check the embroys for the correct number of chromosomes before they’re transfered to the surrogate’s uterus. A few cells are carefully biopsied from each embryo, and those cells are analyzed to see if the embryo is chromosomally normal with the goal of PGT-A to help select embryos with the highest chance of resulting in a healthy pregnancy, potentially improving IVF success rates and reducing miscarriages.

In a surrogate IVF cycle, the gestational surrogate undergoes careful medical and hormonal preparation, so her uterus is ready to receive an embryo. Once a healthy embryo is selected, it is transferred to the surrogate’s uterus, where she carries the pregnancy but has no genetic connection to the baby. This coordinated process combines advanced reproductive technology with medical, legal, and emotional support to help our intended parents achieve a pregnancy.

PREGNANCY

The happy ending. 10 to 12 days following the embryo transfer, the surrogate is given a blood test for pregnancy. Once the surrogate is pregnant, an ultrasound scan will be conducted to detect the baby’s heartbeat, usually 6 to 7 weeks into the pregnancy. With the positive ultrasound, the surrogate is later released to the care of her own OBGYN for the duration of the pregnancy. In the second and third trimester, you and your Same Love coordinator will begin planning for the surrogate’s hospitalization and the big day—delivery of your baby or babies. And remember, we’ll be there with you, every step of the way, from the matching with your surrogate until you are safely home with your new family.

WHY CHOOSE SAME LOVE?

The inspiration for Same Love came from personal experience… the experience of previous intended parents, egg donors, and surrogates who created their families via surrogacy and egg donation. What all this personal experience taught us is that, even though more and more LGBTQ+ individuals are seeking to become parents via assisted reproductive technology, there are no agencies specifically designed to serve their needs.

Sadly, all too often, even those agencies that purport to serve the LGBTQ+ community as part of their client population fall short in doing so. That is why Same Love is here to guide you through your entire journey to parenthood.

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FAQS

How does Same Love find qualified surrogates and/or egg donors?

Many potential surrogates and egg donors are referred to us by current and former surrogates and donors who have had positive experiences in working with our agency. We also receive contacts via our website, online forums, social media and other outreach efforts. We are vigilant about monitoring and responding to all contacts we receive to determine their eligibility to become surrogates or egg donors to ensure a robust pool of prescreened, qualified candidates.

What qualifications does Same Love look for in surrogate and/or egg donor candidates?

To begin with, qualified surrogates or egg donors must be mentally and physically healthy. A surrogate must have already have given birth to at least one child of her own with no major complications during pregnancy and delivery. In order to qualify, surrogates and egg donors may not use illegal drugs or tobacco and must meet a number of health and emotional wellness standards. Qualified candidates also are asked to confirm their commitment to the surrogacy or egg donation process, expressing responsibility for their decision to participate and confirming they have met our requirements. A comfortable, trusting relationship between intended parent(s) and surrogate is essential, so we do our best to get that relationship started off on the right foot with properly vetted and qualified candidates.

How much contact should intended parents have with Same Love?

The Same Love staff are reachable 24 hours a day to respond to emergencies and to provide emotional support and guidance for you and your surrogate. During the early stages of your journey to parenthood, your interaction with us will be frequent, as we proceed through screening of surrogate and/or egg donor, finalizing legal agreements and the pregnancy attempt. Once a pregnancy is achieved, our staff stays in close contact with the surrogate in order to foster good mental health, ensure proper medical care, and monitor the legal process to ensure all requirements are met prior to the birth. Our intended parents are welcome and encouraged to contact us, via phone, email or Zoom, with questions or concerns as we accompany you at every stage of this incredible journey.

Our surrogate is pregnant! When is the paternity establishment started?

Prior to the 20th gestational week of pregnancy, you will be required to retain your attorney for the purpose of legally establishing your parentage of your child or children. Your attorney will prepare, review and process all necessary documents to begin the paternity establishment. Your attorney will request a certified paternity establishment with the state your child will be born and will appear in court on your behalf. (NOTE: Although in most cases the intended parent(s) are not required to appear in court, in some rare instances special circumstances may require it.) A certified copy of the paternity establishment will be sent to you. Uncertified copies of the document will be sent to your surrogate, to Same Love and to the delivering hospital. When you arrive at the hospital with proof of identity and the certified Pre-Birth Court Order, the hospital will officially recognize you as the legal parents. Under California law, the intended parent(s) names will be listed on your child’s original birth certificate without an adoption procedure required. NOTE: there are a handful of states where paternity is established POST birth.

I live in another country and do not speak english. Is there someone at SLS who can help me?

Although Same Love is registered as a California business, doing business in English, we do have a Chinese and Spanish translator who will be pleased to assist with translation services during our initial meetings prior to retaining our services. Intended parents who speak a language other than English, Chinese or Spanish may wish to seek the assistance of a trusted friend or family member for translation services, or we can refer you to an agency that offers translation services at an additional cost to you. It is very important that intended parents have an in-depth understanding of the process and our services, so we encourage the use of translation services if needed. Please note: All documents for signature will be written in the English language.

I am a member of the LGBTQ+ community. What steps does Same Love take to ensure that portentia surrogates or egg donors are comfortable with LGBT Intended Parents?

Same Love was established for the express purpose of helping LGBTQ+ intended parents become parents via surrogacy and/or egg donation. In fact, the agency founder and owner is a gay man who became a father via surrogacy and egg donation. Our application questionnaires for potential surrogates and egg donors make it clear that the intended parents are likely to be LGBTQ+ individuals. In no case would we attempt to match you with a surrogate or egg donor who was not fully aware of your sexual orientation.

I do not live in the United States. How many times will I be required to travel to the United States during my journey to parenthood via surrogacy?

If you are using your own sperm and/or eggs, all medical testing must be conducted in the U.S. to meet U.S. Food & Drug Administration guidelines and clinic requirements. In addition, you will be required to come to the United States for the egg retrieval process and/or to leave your sperm sample. You may expect to remain in the U.S. for a period of at least five to seven days while the pregnancy is attempted. It is recommended, but not required, that you return to the U.S. at least once during the pregnancy and, of course, for the delivery of your child. Because you will not know the exact day and time when your surrogate will go into labor, you should prepare to come to the U.S. on short notice during the final month of pregnancy, or at least two weeks prior to your surrogate’s due date, if she is carrying one child. If your surrogate is pregnant with twins, you should plan for a sudden trip to the U.S. at least three to four weeks before the due date; for triplets, make plans to travel at short notice during the final two to three months. Be sure to maintain close contact with your surrogate and with SLS staff during the last trimester of pregnancy.

If our surrogate becomes pregnant with twins or triplets, will we be required to pay her more money?

Yes, similar to other agencies in the United States, SLS does require all intended parents to compensate their surrogate an additional amount for each additional fetus she carries. In a multiple pregnancy, added strain will be placed on your surrogate’s body, many more medical appointments will be required, and her pregnancy will be more uncomfortable. A multiple pregnancy also adds risk. SLS surrogates receive an additional $10,000 (per additional fetus carried).

I am a citizen of a country other than the United States. How do I obtain a California certified birth certificate and a passport for my child so I can return home?

The paternity establishment or pre-birth judgment will be filed with the court in the state in which your surrogate lives or give birth when your surrogate is about 28 weeks pregnant, so you will be listed as the legal parent on your child’s birth certificate. NOTE: there are a handful of states where paternity is established POST birth. You will receive your child’s birth certificate approximately seven to 10 days after the birth, although this can differ state to state. Once you receive the birth certificate and your baby has been released from the hospital, you can apply for a passport for your child. The passport process takes approximately two to seven days. We recommend that all new parents prepare to remain in the United States for a minimum of three weeks after the birth of their child or children to allow time for completion of these important documents. In order to provide new parents with added assistance, SLS offers a concierge service to help you during the post-birth process. In some cases, we can refer you to a qualified fertility law attorney who is knowledgeable and experienced with the laws and policies of your home country. Additionally, we highly recommend that you contact a family law attorney in your home country in order to ensure you are properly informed of the requirements in your own country once you return home. You may need to establish your child’s citizenship in your own country for your child to receive your country’s benefits.

We successfully worked with Same Love in the past and would like to work with your agency and the same surrogate again to attempt another pregnancy. What do we do?

First, we will contact your surrogate to confirm she is willing to carry another child for you. Once we speak with her and she has agreed, we will email you a discounted retainer agreement for a sibling arrangement. We will speak with your surrogate and negotiate her fees prior to you signing the retainer agreement. NOTE: As a “proven” surrogate, she may increase some of the associated fees. Remember, you do not have to communicate directly with your surrogate about financial arrangements; we provide that service for you as a way of ensuring your relationship with your surrogate is as positive and stress-free as possible. We represent both you and your surrogate fairly and honestly, providing our experienced opinion on the reasonableness and validity of any proposed fee increases. Our goal is for both you and your surrogate to have as positive an experience as you did the first time around.

The best way to ensure your and your surrogate’s experience during your next pregnancy will be as enjoyable and memorable as your last is to include the same professional team. Same Love advocates for all clients, surrogates and egg donors equally. However, if for any reason your previous surrogate is unable to fulfill that role for you again, Same Love will work to match you with an equally qualified surrogate, also provided under our discounted agency fee, which is available to all returning clients for a sibling arrangement.

Can the intended mother induce lactation to provide breast milk to her baby after the surrogate gives birth?

Yes, it is possible for the intended mother to induce lactation and provide breast milk to her baby. We will be happy to provide you with information and resources from previous clients who have succeeded in sharing this bonding and nurturing experience with their baby born through surrogacy.

Is there something that an Intended Parent can do to ensure the health of the child they create through surrogacy?

Same Love highly recommends that all clients consider cord blood banking. Stored immediately after birth, the plasma from your baby’s umbilical cord can be used later in your child’s life to cure disease and potentially save his or her life. We have information and resources for cord blood banking available on request. However, arrangements for the procedure must be made in advance. If you decide to pursue cord blood banking, please let us know as soon as your surrogate becomes pregnant.

Why do the Intended Parents have to obtain a notarized legal contract with the surrogate?

Family courts at the state level require a notarized legal contract between the parties. Therefore, the intended parent or parents, surrogate and surrogate’s husband all must sign the surrogacy agreement and have their signatures legally notarized. The notarization is performed by a notary public, a person legally empowered to witness and certify the validity of documents and personal identity. In this case, the notary public will certify that you are in fact the individuals signing the signature page of the surrogacy agreement. A valid, current photo identification card or passport will be required of all parties signing the agreement. This is required in most states to ensure legal and parental rights to the child were provided to the proper individuals.

What is the benefit of the pregnancy wellness program that SLS offers?

Same Love believes in the promotion of wellness and health during the process. Your surrogate will receive dietary and nutritional counseling and/or acupuncture, relaxation and birth coaching, as well as high quality prenatal vitamins. Research shows that women who regularly receive nutritional counseling and birth coaching during an IVF cycle and pregnancy have fewer pregnancy related complications and are more likely to experience a healthy full-term pregnancy.

I see you work with the LGBTQ+ community. Do you also work with heterosexual singles and couples?

Same Love was founded on the premise of helping LGBTQ+ become parents via surrogacy and/or egg donation. As part of our commitment to inclusion, we have always provided services to heterosexual singles and couples. Our intended parent application makes it clear that we work with heterosexual singles and couples. Our surrogates and egg donors would be fully aware of your sexual orientation.

Becoming A Parent

Becoming A Parent

MATCHING PROCESS

FINANCIAL CONSIDERATIONS

STEP BY STEP

CONSULTATION

GETTING STARTED

IDENTIFYING DONOR & SURROGATE

SCREENING

LEGAL

MEDICAL CYCLE

PREGNANCY

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FAQS

How does Same Love find qualified surrogates and/or egg donors?

What qualifications does Same Love look for in surrogate and/or egg donor candidates?

How much contact should intended parents have with Same Love?

Our surrogate is pregnant! When is the paternity establishment started?

I live in another country and do not speak english. Is there someone at SLS who can help me?

I am a member of the LGBTQ+ community. What steps does Same Love take to ensure that portentia surrogates or egg donors are comfortable with LGBT Intended Parents?

I do not live in the United States. How many times will I be required to travel to the United States during my journey to parenthood via surrogacy?

If our surrogate becomes pregnant with twins or triplets, will we be required to pay her more money?

I am a citizen of a country other than the United States. How do I obtain a California certified birth certificate and a passport for my child so I can return home?

We successfully worked with Same Love in the past and would like to work with your agency and the same surrogate again to attempt another pregnancy. What do we do?

Can the intended mother induce lactation to provide breast milk to her baby after the surrogate gives birth?

Is there something that an Intended Parent can do to ensure the health of the child they create through surrogacy?

Why do the Intended Parents have to obtain a notarized legal contract with the surrogate?

What is the benefit of the pregnancy wellness program that SLS offers?

I see you work with the LGBTQ+ community. Do you also work with heterosexual singles and couples?